Being Yourself In Real Life
In-person serendipity
Sunday, September 24th: Hey everyone! Greetings from Austin. I’ve been visiting the city since Thursday. Besides the heat, Austin is a fun, lively city. A unique vibe mixture of tech and startups, health and fitness, latinos, live music, young energy, and countless things to do. Although I’ve lived in the suburbs most of my life, living closer to the city has powerful perks, like walking to coffee shops or running into people, as we’ll talk about today.
So my first night in Austin I find myself at an invite-only event for AI investors and founders. Just that same morning, I had no plans for my first night in town, other than a jog and relaxing night.
So how did this happen? It stems from being yourself. Let me explain.
The guy who sat next to me on the plane had a Y Combinator sticker on his computer. If you’re not familiar, Y Combinator is the best startup accelerator in the world. Recently, I’ve been diving deep into the essays of Y Cominator’s founder, Paul Graham.
The conversation started naturally: “do you work at Y Combinator?” He said he didn’t, but he was touring the YC headquarters in San Francisco and scouting for venture capitalists to fund startups he works with. Eventually he asks me if I have plans for my first night in Austin. I tell him not really (just a jog), and he tells me: “well now you do.”
Thinking he was gonna invite me to a big party in Austin, I was shocked when he invited me to an AI founder and investors invite-only event. Knowing that every small event has life-changing potential, I was down. I felt out of place and like an imposter, but I like to think of this discomfort as a reasonable growth metric. The event was fantastic and I met some excellent people and witnessed some fireside chats about the future of AI. Although AI is growing rapidly and will be a part of the future, this article isn’t about AI or startups.
It’s about being yourself in public.
Nice Sticker Bro…
When my friend put that sticker on his computer, it sparked natural conversation between the two of us. “Nice sticker bro.” A similar thing happened at a coffee shop in Austin: a guy was wearing an Acquistion.com hat and eventually we talked and had a great conversation.
I like to call this in-person serendipity. Someone has a cool sticker, shirt, or maybe they’re reading a book you’ve read. Without trying, you go talk to them because they seem like an interesting person. It’s about expressing who you are naturally to attract the people you’re looking for.
On my podcast,1 I interviewed a writer named Noah Cracknell. When he moved to New York City and was looking to meet new people, he conducted an experiment: doing work in bars. He called it Pub Work. His logic was that he loved going out to bars to meet new people, but he wasn’t a fan of the drinking aspect. When he brought his computer or a book to the bars on Friday night, he told me he got some weird looks, but he told me others were fascinated. Noah didn’t do this to be weird on purpose but to attract his people: readers, writers, and people interested in a healthy lifestyle.
It’s another example of being yourself in public. Do things you normally may do alone and just do it in a public setting. This could be reading, journaling, or even meditating. You’ll meet your people by just doing you, no matter what others think.
Sure, listening to an audiobook with the windows rolled down might not be the archetypal definition of a “cool guy” in society. But for me it is. I want meet to people who read books and think deeply. I even have a rule with myself that if I see a cute girl reading a book, I have to go talk to her.
Living near a city with young energy and people accelerates this process. It’s easy to change your behavior when you’re around others, worried about what others think. That’s what might be my favorite thing about Austin: there’s a motto in town: Keep Austin Weird. As long as you be yourself, nobody really cares. People mind their own business and drop judgments. I like this.
Be yourself in public.
Happy Sunday,
Baxter
36:45 into my podcast with Noah you can discover further why he ripped some Deep Work in bars. We had a great conversation.
Very cool B! Glad you are having a great time in Austin.