Easy Way to Make More Money and Friends
A powerful psychology pattern
“I just met this guy. Why is he offering his food to me?”
That’s what was going through my head at my first hostel in Spain.
That same week, I went out with a group of six Europeans.
A few hours before, we all met each other in the hostel kitchen.
But soon enough, we were eating off each other’s plates and sharing everything. Drinks and food. A German guy even reached his fork across the table for me to try his pork.
Europeans gave me the impression of being incredibly open and kind.
But here’s the kicker: I soon found myself offering food to strangers.
I’ve never been one for sharing my food. Maybe I inherited that from half of my genetics. Or maybe it’s because I eat a lot.
Either way, whenever I was in hostels, I felt a strong impulse to offer my food to others.
Why?
How is it possible that I was offering my food to a complete stranger?
Sure, people are inviting. Travelers tend to be more open minded and kind.
But at the root of this is a deep psychological pattern. It’s called reciprocity.
Reciprocity
Have you ever noticed that if someone gives you a gift, you feel compelled to give them something in return?
You might say thank you. But the psychological cue of reciprocity creates this urge to give something back.
Another way think of reciprocity is an exchange. As social psychologist Dr. Robert Cialdini writes in Influence:
“The rule says that we should try to repay what another person has provided us. If a woman does us a favor, we should do her one in return; if a man sends us a birthday present, we should remember his birthday with a gift of our own; if a couple invites us to a party, we should be sure to invite them to one of ours.”
In a way, we’re obligated to repay in the future.
In fact, in Portugese, “obrigado” means “thank you.”
It’s why companies give free trials or 20% off coupons. It’s why Costco gives out free samples.
They give you something. They hope that you’ll buy from them. Giving a free sample might help convince you that the product is worth it.
But even if the product sucked, you still might feel compelled to return the favor and spend some money.
It’s a great marketing tactic.
One month into my travels through Europe, I discovered this cue.
In the future, I found myself offering food in hostels to everyone. Not because I wanted them to give me food, but because it’s a great to meet new people. It just puts out good energy. Kindness is contagious.
As entrepreneur Alex Hormozi always talks about, give so much that people will ask. Provide so much value to the world that you don’t even have to do marketing. People will just come to you and ask.
Give give give. Then take.
The broader lesson here is to share more. In life and business. Be nice to strangers. Give out random compliments. Remember that people aren’t out to get you—they’re too busy, just like you.
Kindness feels good, but it also helps someone else.
This lesson is not about food and making money but rather sharing and giving.
Happy Sunday,
- Baxter
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