Be Curious, Not Judgmental

One way to lead an emotionally wealthy life

Hey everyone,

Here’s a couple of tidbits from my week, followed by a powerful mental framework to lead a more happy and peaceful life.

📝 Quote of the Week

“There is a great difference between our civilization and yours. You admire the man who pushes his way to the top in any walk of life while we admire the man who abandons his ego.” - 7 Years in Tibet

🎼 New Music

Taylor Swift’s new album, Midnights. My favorites are “Karma,” “Snow on the Beach,” and “Anti-Hero,” among many more (Yes, I’m a guy who likes Taylor Swift).

Be Curious, Not Judgmental

If there’s anything that I’ve truly learned from college, it’s how to be less judgmental with people.

Yes, you read that right. For example, in the past, if I saw someone with pink hair, my visceral reaction would be to frown, and think, “why in the world would you do that?”

There’s probably no better place to meet new people than in college. And through meeting a wide variety of people outside of my typical social circles, I’ve seen that many people are nice and are just trying to navigate their way through life, too.

A mental framework that changed my perspective on life came from the TV show Ted Lasso:

“Be curious, not judgmental.”

Let’s say someone cuts you off when you’re driving. Because we humans are inherently selfish, you get enraged, subconsciously thinking that they cut you off on purpose. This is the essence of what psychologists call the Fundamental Attribution Error: we think someone did something to us because they’re a bad person, while ignoring the facts of the situation.

But if we instead choose curiosity, we can think, “I wonder why they cut us off. Maybe they’re in a rush or an emergency, or maybe they’re just a bad driver.” In either case, there is a very small chance that they actually cut you off on purpose. It's not personal. It's not out of malice.

As I’ve experienced, any time that I can feel myself judging someone or feeling like they have wronged me in some tiny way, I remind myself to be curious. To ask why, instead of making assumptions.

In the age of social media, echo chambers, and superficial judgements, this is more important now than ever. By choosing curiosity in our day-to-day lives, we gain empathy, compassion, and can lead a much more calm, peaceful, and emotionally wealthy life.

I'm picky. So while I wouldn’t date a girl with pink hair, I am now evermore curious.

Feliz Noviembre,

Baxter

Cover Photo by Kylle Pangan on Unsplash